King Solomon once wrote in Ecclesiastes 7:13-14, "Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future."
The past year of my life has been a very difficult growing period. One that makes me wonder why God would have it happen. However, Solomon urges the reader (me in this case) to consider that God has made both the good and bad times in life for a reason.
So what could the purpose of this bad season been in my life?
I think the past year of my life was a season of emptiness. God was healing my brokenness and sadness and frustration. Transferring was one of the toughest changes I have gone through. I had my heart set on being at Eastern University for four years, playing lacrosse, and becoming a teacher. However, God had a much different and overall better plan for me.
I found myself at Towson, hating where He had placed me. Then I was diagnosed with depression after months of suffering in darkness. How much more pain could you throw together in one year?
But it was during this time that God was planning to restore me.
He was preparing me for new friendships, a new period of service, and a newfound joy in life that I had not known before I found myself in a deep, dark pit this past year.
Depression sucks out all joy and passion in life. Even the simple things that had once given me happiness, had become tedious tasks. Most days it was a struggle to just get out of bed.
After the past few months of going through counseling and summer finally arriving, I am feeling a lot better. There is still pain, but most days have returned to sunshine instead of dark clouds looming over my head. Whether it's the "happy pills" or Vitamin D, I am just thankful to feel myself again.
More than anything I am excited for a new season in my life. Renting my first apartment with friends, starting classes directly for my major, a teaching internship in Baltimore County, serving as a high school leader at Cross Current, etc. I am finally in a season again where I feel like I can pour myself out. I don't feel the need to be poured into just to get out of bed the next day.
So right now I am thanking God for both the good and the bad seasons because of the amazing things I can learn about Him and His timing and character. He gave me the strength to get out of bed every day. He was my friend when I felt lonely. He loved me when I felt unlovable. He showed me I didn't have to strive for perfection any longer. He always provided for my every need. He was and is faithful.
If you are in a bad season just like I was a few months ago, just know that the days filled with sunshine will come again. They may seem farther and farther apart, but just know that the Lord is growing your character and relationship with Him in the midst of the storm. Do not give up hope. There is a season for everything. A time to be emptied and a time to be filled.
I hope your season of good times is coming, but do not lose sight of what He is trying to teach you in the bad times.